im an esoteric kind of soul. a connoisseur of eclectic novelties. still life, fashioned antiquity, sepia, neo-revolutionary, modernism--the great wave of personal discovery. its like how chopin killed edna pontellier. people do germinate like lima beans sleeping on a damp paper towl bed in plastic bags hung on windowsills to crack the walls of the solitary cells they are born into and grow toward light. its becoming an admirer of every work of art. that is what it all is. i love the world through the eyes of a kid. there is potential for everything then. music filters through me in colors and contrasts. i slip out of the skin i am in. what ever is dark and light comes out on the steps. it brings me back from when i become an old man and his sea. but its ironic. what does it amount to? if it brings more people into contact into enlightenment with the human condition, does that then make something worthwhile. is it that it compels people to do great things, does that then make something worthwhile. is it that it draws people to a higher end, religiously, morally? does that then make something worthwhile? something about the sorrow we share. if not that then what is it? hope? but that implies the former. if not sorrow than the quest for happiness and contentment, that still implies the former. so then i say, if it is sorrow what is the womb from which this is born? it is from greed. how to cure greed? it is impossible for being human is to be selfish, without it we cannon survive. so we can derive the paradox of the human condition, that we are called to live together yet when man comes into contact with eachother it destroys itself. so are we not meant to live as islands? this is equally destructive. so which is the worse evil? it would seem to live alone, yet this leaves man unfulfilled. for being empty requires that something occupies the open space, this is physics and common knowledge. yet we cannot escape its detrimental effects. the answer lies in a universal commitment to abstain from all thins orthogonal to the fulfillment of an eternal consciousness. without this, the human condition would be comdemed to death at birth. if that is so, then what is living worth? under this view, nothing. assissting and facilitating other peoples attempts at life are inconsequential, so therefore attempts at longevity will come apart and de-evolve into chaos. with an eternal conscious game theory suggests man will aspire to achieve what is necessary to accomplish this because it is a want. with out the desire for anything things would remain inanimate, and isolated--even molecules. so this provides ground for the evidence that community, though paradoxical, is essential. because greed elicits an eternal conscious, heaven can exist simply because it is invented inside one's mind. it becomes, then, a reality. without the ability of desire ingrained inside every thing both mundane and consequential, so an eternal conscious is born. longevity and preservation are the goal of man's existence. community provides a means to achieve this as a blank slate slowly becomes filled with color of experience, knowledge, and a developed conscious make people more able to achieve their goal of longevity simply because it gives them the advantage. everyone is aware that a task is more efficiently and quickly achieved when many hands do the work. this solves the dilemma of man's inherent sorrow. it in actuality is a most acute selfishness. and it is curious that this communal sorrow is shared in the same way, bore on all the backs of humanity, of those who are in touch with their burgeoning conscious. so living becomes easier.