im always looking for a new window, a brief smile, circular spectacles, they make the world seem like everything is connected on the second time around, i am not sure i'll ever be ok after living through this for two decades, all i know is my name. everyone's got a lot of happiness pushing them along in their happy little hearses, tract, make sure you shatter the windows and drag them through the mud and blood and booze, its happy hollows eve every night and every day, i cant separate the reality of everything from blue smoke and stars, call your failures art, but thats what youve been living so far, victim of your own misery, tell me how do you want to be? everyone has their perfect plans, everyone knows better than you how to solve everything, just let me be, floating far from everything, nothings going to cure my kill these days, im just wasting time, just wasting words on my breaths, margot said "every breath is a gift, if you weren't so selfish maybe you might want to live" that is probably true. i cant even share my sorrow. so sorry k.r.,n.m. and everyone else that i keep pushing away. i want to change, i cant fill in the blanks. i never wanted you to see me when i am this way, shooting my mouth off at my outerspace. tomorrow is going to be a bright and shining morning.