let me first say, i am so sad i missed the 90's. it was such an exciting time in our history as a human race with everything from liberalism triumphing over socialism to elliott smith still being alive and at the pinnacle of his career, to the penultimate slap in the face of public faux pas with zubas being the epitome of cool--i would have thoroughly enjoyed launching a foray of criticism on the wearers.

when i was a kid i dreamt many quixotic fantasies of becoming a super hero this or a war hero that or an awesome whatever. one dream that recycled perpetually in my head was playing music. music for some reason or another stuck me so profoundly as a child. no one seemed to be so obsessed with a melody line or orchestration of sound more than me at my age. being reared on musicals, classical and rock legends like hootie and the blowfish, the eagles, U2, sting, the police and the like i was enveloped in a blanket of sound since childhood. bouts deprivation saw me sad and sick, beside myself most of the time. perhaps it is because i am slightly autistic and suffer from a chronic lack of stability (at least much less now than it ever was growing up) music became some great equalizer for me. music is the reason i am at a top 20 university right now. its also the reason i dont know what i want to do with my life now at this point where the options are few. music is a profession that is a parasite to someother ability before it can take a life of its own. i was hoping to launch its own life from college but i have created an atmosphere where work alone can set me free, where doing school work and doing it well is the only way i can provide for the best opportunity for me to support and continue my addiction to music my love of music, in the way that i do now. i dont know why i make it anymore, for the fun, for the love of feeling ephemerally fulfilled and the hope that it can help someone else become fulfilled or lead them to discovering something about themselves or the world.