be intrigued not empathetically thrust toward the initial reaction of sympathy. you know i know i am far below any semblance of a decent health. years of cultivation in the basement on the circle, years of growing pains has made me numb to you. and i had forgotten your prospective concern. i had forgotten that i was just blood and bones too, or maybe that was all i remembered myself as with just the sound of my own heart and a reflection of a dying figure what could you expect?