i want to be blown to oblivion. a man said i was strong. what he meant was you have an esoteric personality. thats why smiles are so common. people can make them complex and simple, still they're just subtle daggers. you know, i believe mr. vonnegut was a genius. he cared too much about not caring about anything. i am the same way. but i am a child. and its not as if i am blind to my own elementary approaches to life, its simply i think the best option lies in the solitude of a grain of sand. blue blood does things to you, so does living underground. its not that i dont care, i dont want to not care. its fear. thats what galvanizes the clockwork. so sorrow becomes indifferent too. you have to feed things. i wonder that the two holes were too cliche, its horrible to say, but i think there was more than just two. i know we all think the same thing. georgia, georgia. it is a 5 chapter hymn i wanted to say too. if i were an alcoholic and heroin addict. but im not. so things arent the same. then even trouble is a perspective. then what do you share? im so tired these days. thats what happens when you are addled inside, and doomed outside. but its not about the cross you inherit.

i am sad about looking up at the fate that has been piling up faster than i can think. numbers lock you into a greater good, its sick. what to make of the intersecting lines of destiny. its the illusion of a freedom of will. but it moves slow, so you chase a carrot every day. its ok. you don't know what i mean, less yesterday more today anyway.