I looked over at Margot now leaning against the carmine colored bricks on the north wall of my new york apartment, she was looking out on the street below smiling. Her smile was penultimate poignancy. It bore an faint eloquence--a slight indication of immanent apocalypse, that deep below she finally realize the meaning of spiders and lemmings, of the callow weakminded skin covered ghosts, haunting the streets below, but it simultaneously exuded an ephemeral whisper of nonchalance, almost as if it were a sigh. poignancy indeed. such elegance. symbols upon symbols--as if it were a metaphor for this whole divine paradox called life. Still, it took a secobarbital dust storm to finally shed the scales. even i was a repeat convert to the concept of "prime and inferior valuations on humanity". why? because it all seemed inconsequential. i reasoned, why would anyone want to worry about the convoluted gyrations and complexities of inconsequential eddies in the larger ocean of the human condition? spiders and lemmings again. Elliott Gardner told me every ripple can cause a wave, regardless of its size. and when it gains kinetic energy in a snowballing effect to the size of tidal proportions is what we call a significantly high molar concentration of stupidity with the intend to distribute. people die with stuff like that. i asked what he thought we were all in right now? he said we're already dead. a true optimist!