damn the bastards, unwitting and sly toe tipping with lissome grace across the midnight pirouette painted pale, cold and kind like the inside of a lemon. i watched october in the midwest settle into her skin and it reminded of the blue ridge mountains when i was a child. amber and warm as if there was enough sunshine there in to carry us through the winter. then i realized all my life i had been a man, inside i never changed only wiser and more distant then i had been in my previous attempts at reentry into the life of some thing so beautiful. i am standing on the shore divorced between the sand and ocean i want to be drug in by her. i must synthesize golden threads and deceive the muses that shift and shear an arbitrary quilt of a fate. it is my own, i say. i will love her. but today, damn the chemicals. damn the cell. damn the bastards, unwitting and sly, toe tipping with lissome grace across a midnight sky. their silhouettes paint me pale, cold, and kind like the inside of a lemon.