My mind was so clouded I did not realize the sun was shining over my shoulder, casting my shadow long and dark on the pavement infront of me, almost as if the disparity and gloom pent within my soul was something I would never outrun, never to escape it would always be in front of me, in my way; something that would lead me inexorably for the rest of my life toward some grotesque and vile truth, a skewed image of reality of myself leaving me to question why I am here at all then I realized it. I realized why distraction exists. Why there is entertainment in life. its function is completely paradoxical—it is there to make us suffer, I thought. I think. People waste their lives providing entertainment to the fools, the miscreants, the dregs of society. They themselves are those very imbeciles of fate of a imposed reality so blissfully, ignorantly contrived. Live happy. Make yourself the master you think.they make you think that when you are high on whatever, drunk off of whatever—a pretty lady or an ocean of sunshine it’s the same damn thing. All that joy is juxtaposed with the only truth of man—suffering and death. The more you live the more painful it becomes to breath in and out, to open your eyes in the morning and live the same revolution of monotony. Its all a ruse. Where once was a concrete hope--a passing smile, your beloved’s hand, sleep--is vacated by a cold winter breeze and a setting hitting you from your back in an amber and sapphire January sky that makes you grow small, small, small and insignificant and makes your darkness grow to be a bigger man than you'll ever be. Every day becomes gray like the last until one day you look up and see how it is all for naught, you never noticed that the sun was shining on your shoulder to elucidate the trouble, the irony, the calamity of things, maybe to keep you warm. What a terrible thing to do to a heart. What a good laugh. What are we to do?